predictably irrational

standing still doesnt stop time

speed increases life and death

grasping quantities releases qualities

yet much has already been given to be held(to behold)(to be heard)

what matter in life does not continue on its coarse?

horizons of collective contextual energies

bursting with the sum of determination and its flaws.

Evolition

automatic relationship
voluntary mechanism
spiritual disipline
rational emotion.
figuring out of control
winding down to earth
run away with words
turn around to remember.

caffeiNation

stressed pressurized lives

fearing rest and time lost

already behind the curve of efficiency

imagining sustain in gain

struggling to keep up with what is needed

had enough without having

(selah)

separating hearing from the heard

snapto superposition of all possibilities(matrices)

work through compositional lost abilities(proprieties)

(sensitivities) visio devina posturing practice

(relativities) remembering what is already known

the guide of symbols ringing out a new map

with socio-cultural demand forgetting the heart of clockwork

(internal monologues keeping their distance for harmonys sake)

dealing(scribe)

interwoven hand with land

scape(scope)

obligating moral conspiricy

theory(cope)

resensitizing passivist

activity(hope)

love without condition

tradition(our living metaphor)

transcending notions preconception

create, subsist, manifest(restore)

no ledge

why is it assumed that when yin and yang mix it isnt colorful

the search for right balance generally creates a grey blob

relational gestalts reveal our flaws through others that hold those traits as strengths

the optical illusion is that i am the center and need to be fulfilled

provision speaks to needs holistically where i demand specifically

reality turns out to be difficult

especially where mystery and faith are looming bothersomely overhead

beauty becons and truth stands

dynamically fortunate to hear the voice at all

mesmerized by toil and scared senseless by responsibility

i am here

present.

stories and patterns

troubles twirl(build)

out of control seems uncommon

(supposed to be at least)

i am peculiar(alone)

we are strangers(not normal)

civilization teaches there are no needs except for status and power

(yet i long to love and be loved, know and be known)

and then the time when we are truly thirsty catches us off guard

where want crosses the threshold of need

wilderness is mean

God is unjust

life is a bad joke.

and yet its the life we’ve made(constructed)

the problems we’ve embraced or neglected

that are manufacturing the chaos in our stories

and the return to humility

takes not our fragility for granted

but accepts our strange natural wild nature…

embracing the day

no longer thinking that we control it or it us.

God is just.

Wilderness is beautiful.

Life is a dance within a 3 dimensionally rendered painting of fellow dancers, movements, stories, patterns… growing, dying, loving, learning,subverting, transcending.

vote with change. buy art.

My webstore is up. I will be adding new art all this week and the next. Here I go.

cell phone down.

if you need to get a hold of me use facebook, email, or im for the time being.

update update!

I’ve been all over the place,as usual… but this time in the planning of the next steps for my life and art and community. I am opening a webstore later this week on etsy.com selling small affordable original artwork. Going to try to make a living..haha. At the same time I’ve started on the redesign of johnraux.com and hope to launch somewhere in the middle of January.(hint: interactive paintings) Finally I’m applying to a few residency programs for late 2009 to make the large work that I’ve been brainstorming with many of you in the past few months… Rome, Paris, Yosemite, Antarctica! We shall see. As for Kansas City..My dungeon in the Wessels place has been a joy. Some allergy issues with the cat..but for what its worth.. i feel at home. On another note Ive been in a small group with Shell on Mondays that has been really good for me. Funny how community brings out perspective and life. Consolation tide.

looking up

Oh, Great Spirit,
whose voice I hear in the winds
and whose breath gives life to all the world, hear me.
I am small and weak.
I need your strength and wisdom.

Let me walk in beauty and make my eyes
ever behold the red and purple sunset.
Make my hands respect the things you have made
and my ears sharp to hear your voice.
Make me wise so that I may understand
the things you have taught my people.
Let me learn the lessons you have hidden
in every leaf and rock.

I seek strength, not to be superior to my brother,
but to fight my greatest enemy - myself.
Make me always ready to come to you
with clean hands and straight eyes,
so when life fades, as the fading sunset,
my spirit will come to you
without shame.

american indian - lakota - chief yellow lark - 1887

Jesus is the Word - to be spoken.
Jesus is the Truth - to be told.
Jesus is the Way - to be walked.
Jesus is the Light - to be lit.
Jesus is the Life - to be loved.
Jesus is the Joy - to be shared.
Jesus is the Sacrifice - to be given.
Jesus is the Bread of Life - to be eaten.
Jesus is the Hungry - to be fed.
Jesus is the Thirsty - to be satiated.
Jesus is the Naked - to be clothed.
Jesus is the Homeless - to be taken in.
Jesus is the Sick - to be healed.
Jesus is the Lonely - to be loved.
Jesus is the Unwanted - to be wanted.
Jesus is the Leper - to wash his wounds.
Jesus is the Beggar - to give him a smile.
Jesus is the Drunkard - to listen to him.
Jesus is the Little One - to embrace him.
Jesus is the Dumb - to speak to him.
Jesus is the Crippled - to walk with him.
Jesus is the Drug Addict - to befriend him.
Jesus is the Prostitute - to remove from danger and befriend her.
Jesus is the Prisoner - to be visited.
Jesus is the Old - to be served.

one year ago to the day...

i woke up in a tent… sleeping on ice… couldnt feel my toes… cougar tracks all around me and truckballz’ entrenchments… cooked cocoa-tmeal while thawing my shoes enough to get my feet into them… retraced my steps in the waist deep snow back to the northern most road in the united states… reconnected for one more last goodbye with fellow hikers also haulted by the storm… they hitched to the east to try to road walk into Canada. I called my journeys end… hitching back to seattle… having some bad gas station french fries along the way… i remember the smell of concrete hitting me through the open window… my eyes stung with all of the ads everywhere… and lights that never granted rest. … one year later in Kansas City… starting a new journey… making my art move.

werd sowntz

aggregating POV

redefining exterior

adventure, outside exploration

mystical interior

unbridled

and you my dear

filtering POV

understanding interior

equation, inside contemplation

challenging exterior

unbridled.

making starting today.

detoxing starting today.

when i say today i mean two hours ago.

put off camera and recorder problems until later.

mint flavored cod liver oil… yum.

ancle abcs.